AFL Round 18 Recap

A not so serious AFL weekly round recap of Round 18

Geelong Cats (91) vs Collingwood Magpies (71)

Wow, those Cats are purring. I watched this game at home with homemade butter chicken and warm naan. Now, this isn't the spiciest of curries, as you can imagine, but it still managed to have more spice and flavour than those cold pies. Wow, I haven't seen a bigger slide since my young days in a theme park. Just quietly, the Cats are in the box seat for the flag. I love their team composition and their chemistry.

Hawthorn Hawks (87) vs Fremantle Dockers (74)

I called this one. I think it was my safest tip for the week. UTAS Stadium is a fortress. The Hawks won't want the Tassie team to come into the comp if that means having to give up the rights to playing down in the Apple Isle. This says more about the Hawks than Freo, so don't read into it too much, Dockers fans.

Sydney Swans (138) vs North Melbourne Kangaroos (59)

Woah, there goes gravity. Back down to reality for the Kangas and back up to reality for the Swans. The depth that the Swans have available to be able to swap Heeney, a Brownlow medal favourite, for a half-back tank of a captain in Mills, plus a premiership-winning Swan in Parker. Wow, scary team the Bloods.

Western Bulldogs (100) vs Carlton Blues (86)

The Blues are a very appropriate pseudonym for Carlton as it seems they can't escape feeling them. This says more about the Dogs' game if we're being honest. Strong and composed around the contest with a haphazard, put-together backline. Without Treloar, they are up for the fight and ruin Crippa's party. However, Curnow's bad night in front of goals changes the narrative of this game slightly.

Adelaide Crows (71) vs St Kilda Saints (39)

Pathetic... A week is a long time in football, they say. It must be if the Saints forgot how to play football in the second half. Five goals for a game is embarrassing and yes, it was wet, but no excuses. Thilthorpe is a beast; whatever GMOs they're putting in his cornflakes need investigating.

Melbourne Demons (84) vs Essendon Bombers (67)

Insert Nelson Muntz (The Simpsons) pointing and laughing at a cowering Essendon Bombers fan... It's a joke at this point. Harrison Petty was the ruckman for Melbourne as they played a side without Gawn or Petracca for the first time in 8+ years. Maybe there will be another calendar year before Essendon wins a final.

---

Gold Coast Suns (96) vs Port Adelaide (82)

Well done to Gold Coast for sleeping in their own beds and waking up winners, as they seem to do oh so well. They are keeping themselves inside the window for finals. You just have to wonder where they'd be placed if they won some of those easy away games, given they have an absolute gimme with the easy fixturing this year.

GWS Giants (108) vs Richmond Tigers (84)

Just one of those Sunday afternoon games where you're thankful it's wedged between two other games. 18,000 fans rocked up to the G and they probably wish they hadn't. For a high-scoring game, it was fairly uncompetitive—a wet, blustery slogfest. I would rather be eating a well curated Sunday roast.

Brisbane Lions (106) vs West Coast Eagles (93)

Well done to Adam Simpson and congratulations on a fantastic career. Someone please tell me what's the nicest way to say "get a dog up ya," The West Australian. A putrid story, and hopefully nobody buys that crap. The Eagles put up a good fight, commendable especially after Duggan went down early. Lachie Neale is nicely on track for a third Chas.